If you want to improve, the first step is to become aware of your weaknesses. You may have perfectionism, a tendency to hyperfocus on details, over intellectualization, and a comfort with worry.

The actionman’s mental processes are lightning quick. As a result, he tends to jump to conclusions and make immediate decisions before he knows all the facts. This rash and impetuous behavior could cause communications problems and arouse needless opposition in others. His mind is generally too busy with the immediate future to take time for careful analysis and reflection. He would do well to slow down and organize himself before he speaks. However, the same behavior has a positive side. It can be of great use to him in rushed or quickly changing work situations, which require last-minute, immediate decisions.

To trust yourself better and gain self-assurance, the first thing you must do is learn to say no. Once you are capable of saying no to others, you can say yes to life. You must develop your awareness of all the positive aspects of your life, as well as all the changes you hope to make in order to enjoy life more. This is the foundation that will support you, the inexhaustible source and center of the transformation of your personality. Infantile anxieties which arose in childhood when you were helpless may be obstacles to your evolution. Sometimes they actually prevent you from daring to confront challenges you would be altogether capable of assuming now! One of the reasons you yield to these childhood fears so readily is that they procure a feeling so familiar to you that, although it is negative, it is a reassuring part of your identity. However, the more often you reinforce this complex by yielding to that feeling, the more unaware you become of your true emotional state. The irrational childhood fears have also reinforced your pessimistic tendencies. It is difficult for you to believe in the positive aspects of your life because of the pernicious little voice inside you that claims you don’t really deserve all this goodness. This side of you could undermine your vitality and force you to compensate or flee from reality. In doing so, you limit your power to bring about a positive change in yourself or your life. It’s a vicious cycle, and to free yourself, the first step is to free yourself from the fears which prevent you from taking full advantage of life. You can succeed if you arrange a relaxed, positive environment for yourself, establish sincere relations with one or two special people, and, if possible, find a setting – perhaps a yoga class – in which you can practice relaxation exercises.