If you really want to improve and transform Lisa Mantler, the first step is to become aware of the weaknesses which may be holding her back and preventing her evolution:
– her shallowness
– her lack of sincerity
– her indifference
– her frivolity
– her fear of commitment

Lisa Mantler may experience discord in relationships. Although she is friendly and outgoing and commits herself to friendships and partnerships, she often finds it difficult to balance her own needs, desires, and goals with the objective reality of others and their individual desires and needs.

To understand and overcome this problem, she should accept the idea that every relationship follows more or less the same general scheme: a base of intimacy and an accomplishment or purpose apart from the relationship itself. If she succeeds in defining, through discussion and communication, what sort of intimate relationship she and her partners want to maintain and what accomplishment or purpose they hope to achieve, many conflicts will be avoided.

Lisa’s emotions are fluctuating and unstable. Although she has the ability to detach herself from her emotions to analyze and observe them, this tendency sometimes prevents her from truly engaging herself in emotional terms and may act as a defense against any emotional impact. This is the reason why she subjects all her feelings to an intellectual interpretation rather than yielding to them. It is also the reason why she might falter, hesitate, contradict herself and seem to say both yes and no when she has an opportunity to commit herself emotionally.

She should make a conscious effort to overcome this unconscious conditioning which may be related to her childhood. She must first learn to observe and assimilate other people’s feelings instead of rejecting them. This exercise will teach her to understand her own reactions and affects better.

To trust Lisa Mantler better and gain self-assurance, the first thing Lisa Mantler must do is learn to say no. Once Lisa Mantler is capable of saying no to others, Lisa Mantler can say yes to life. Lisa Mantler must develop Lisa Mantler’s awareness of all the things Lisa Mantler loves and feel positive about, as well as all the changes Lisa Mantler hopes to make in order to enjoy life more. This is the foundation that will support Lisa Mantler, the inexhaustible source and center of the transformation of Lisa Mantler’s personality. Infantile anxieties which arose in childhood when Lisa Mantler was helpless may be obstacles to Lisa Mantler’s evolution. Sometimes they actually prevent Lisa Mantler from daring to confront challenges Lisa Mantler would be altogether capable of assuming now! One of the reasons Lisa Mantler yields to these childhood fears so readily is that they procure a feeling so familiar to Lisa Mantler that, although it is negative, it is a reassuring part of Lisa Mantler’s identity. However, the more often Lisa Mantler reinforces this complex by yielding to that feeling, the more unaware Lisa Mantler becomes of Lisa Mantler’s true emotional state. The irrational childhood fears have also reinforced Lisa Mantler’s pessimistic tendencies. It is difficult for Lisa Mantler to believe in the sunny side of life because of the pernicious little voice inside Lisa Mantler that claims Lisa Mantler doesn’t really deserve all this goodness. This side of Lisa Mantler could undermine Lisa Mantler’s vitality and force Lisa Mantler to compensate or flee from reality. In doing so, Lisa Mantler limits Lisa Mantler’s power to bring about a positive change in Lisa Mantler or Lisa Mantler’s life. It’s a vicious cycle, and to free Lisa Mantler, the first step is to free Lisa Mantler from the fears which prevent Lisa Mantler from taking full advantage of life. Lisa Mantler can succeed if Lisa Mantler arranges a relaxed, positive environment for Lisa Mantler, establishes sincere relations with one or two special people, and, if possible, finds a setting – perhaps a yoga class – in which Lisa Mantler can practice relaxation exercises.